Tag Archives: sad

Pre-Birthday Melancholia

My last good birthday was when I turned 17. I felt like I was on top of the world, at the doorstep of adulthood; everything was bright and amazing and full of possibilities. I had a party and a big cake and friends … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

We Lesser Beings… Thoughts On Physics And Grief

Shit has a funny way of creeping back up on you just when you think you’re done with it…  I thought I had accepted my failures. I thought I had gone crazy, recovered to a certain extent, mourned lost chances, and … Continue reading

Posted in Insanity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

A Schizophrenic’s Future… Thoughts On The “Later” I Might Never Have

So, if you follow this blog, you know I have schizophrenia. Which is, in the end, a disease that kills people. I am very aware of that. But I am also a young woman, attempting to get a diploma, trying … Continue reading

Posted in Insanity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

A Chronicle Of Things… QP’s Life In Objects

I have this box, it’s a small lacquered wooden jewelry box with red satin cushioning on the inside, and I have had it for a long time. Over the years, it has slowly filled up with tiny pieces of memory. … Continue reading

Posted in Insanity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Hole You Left In My Soul

Immature love says, “I love you because I need you”. Mature love says, “I need you because I love you”. – Erich Fromm Is it possible to be immature and mature at the same time? I love you, because I … Continue reading

Posted in Insanity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

(I’m Not Fine.)

I’m not. Really not. I don’t want to live my life feeling nothing but this. THIS. This empty, useless, non-purposeful type of monotony and apathy. I don’t. But I’m bound, I’m tied, I’m stuck. I hate loving people. My bruises … Continue reading

Posted in Insanity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Tired of Everything.

I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want it to stop. I want quiet. Please leave me alone. All I can do now is cry and I’m so tired. Why am I so tired? I am wallowing in … Continue reading

Posted in Insanity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

News That Makes Me Sad…

I read this on the blog of Leonie Fennell, and it made me feel really sad. Is this what our world is coming to? “For schizophrenia generally you are 10 times more likely to be dead at the end of … Continue reading

Posted in Insanity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Burden…

Am I the burden, the tumor, the parasite feasting on your life, or are you the one burdening me?

Posted in Art | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Presence…

And no words can ever replace your presence in the world around me… 

Posted in Art | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment