Tag Archives: sad

Pre-Birthday Melancholia

My last good birthday was when I turned 17. I felt like I was on top of the world, at the doorstep of adulthood; everything was bright and amazing and full of possibilities. I had a party and a big cake and friends … Continue reading

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We Lesser Beings… Thoughts On Physics And Grief

Shit has a funny way of creeping back up on you just when you think you’re done with it…  I thought I had accepted my failures. I thought I had gone crazy, recovered to a certain extent, mourned lost chances, and … Continue reading

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A Schizophrenic’s Future… Thoughts On The “Later” I Might Never Have

So, if you follow this blog, you know I have schizophrenia. Which is, in the end, a disease that kills people. I am very aware of that. But I am also a young woman, attempting to get a diploma, trying … Continue reading

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A Chronicle Of Things… QP’s Life In Objects

I have this box, it’s a small lacquered wooden jewelry box with red satin cushioning on the inside, and I have had it for a long time. Over the years, it has slowly filled up with tiny pieces of memory. … Continue reading

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The Hole You Left In My Soul

Immature love says, “I love you because I need you”. Mature love says, “I need you because I love you”. – Erich Fromm Is it possible to be immature and mature at the same time? I love you, because I … Continue reading

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(I’m Not Fine.)

I’m not. Really not. I don’t want to live my life feeling nothing but this. THIS. This empty, useless, non-purposeful type of monotony and apathy. I don’t. But I’m bound, I’m tied, I’m stuck. I hate loving people. My bruises … Continue reading

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Tired of Everything.

I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want it to stop. I want quiet. Please leave me alone. All I can do now is cry and I’m so tired. Why am I so tired? I am wallowing in … Continue reading

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