Tag Archives: despair

Ups And Downs

There are days that it’s okay. Days that I’m okay, that I can concentrate, that I feel alive and present in both mind and body. Days that I don’t curse the universe for letting me open my eyes. It’s those … Continue reading

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A Schizophrenic’s Future… Thoughts On The “Later” I Might Never Have

So, if you follow this blog, you know I have schizophrenia. Which is, in the end, a disease that kills people. I am very aware of that. But I am also a young woman, attempting to get a diploma, trying … Continue reading

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Fade…

this is the dance we dance, a whisper on the edge falling and fading to sleep  and my soul is ever throwing  stones into the deep

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Journey Light, But Bring With You Your Swords!

I haven’t been here in a long time, I know. Life, mild attacks of psychosis, internet-less holidays, exams and many other things have kept me from posting anything even slightly meaningful… And life isn’t looking much brighter. Retake exams are … Continue reading

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Low Self Esteem And A Severe Case Of Narcissism… A Call For Advice.

I would do anything to gain power and respect. Anything. It’s a craving, a gnawing hunger almost. A narcissistic need to get praise, respect, admiration and attention. It didn’t use to be like that. When I look back on my childhood, … Continue reading

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Movie Quote #10: Alone

Society is an illusion.

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Lessons Part V

‘Catherine?’ He stood on the patio, as usual neatly dressed in his usual beige suit. I held my breath… God, what was he beautiful. I had to strain myself to keep hiding behind a cherry tree. ‘Catherine… Where are you, … Continue reading

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QP’s Psychosis Diary… A pictural report of my last pre-madhouse days

These pictures were all made by me when I was rapidly descending into psychosis, now months ago already. Because it’s so long go I finally feel like I can post these; back then it was just too raw and confronting. … Continue reading

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Choice?

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Lessons Part III

We knew each other for approximately four weeks, in which we had spent quite some time together, when he asked a very unusual question. He never asked me questions unless they considered my language skills, so the occasion alone had … Continue reading

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