Misery Business…

I hate my period.

No, hate is not strong enough a word. I loathe it. I abhor it. I detest it. My period is a monthly recurring onslaught of general mental instability, insomnia, paranoia, panic attacks and irrational anger. Not to mention that I bleed from my genitalia. To say I hate it simply does not cover it. It is a waking nightmare to me.

Whenever I read/hear people say that the stereotype of hysterical women on their period is completely false and ridiculous, I want to hit them. I AM hysterical when I have my period. I can’t sleep. I can’t think. I can’t focus on anything. I am raging angry at everyone. I think people are following/mocking me. My head is full of static and all I want to do is curl on a ball and scream at the same time. It comes back every single month, and it doesn’t matter that I know it’s all in my head. I simply cannot function when I have my period.

I am so tired, but I don’t manage to sleep. In my period week, I get 2h of sleep per night on average. After three nights of that, plus being in a state of near constant panic during the day, I’m just broken. I wish I didn’t have to do anything in this week, that someone would knock me out for the duration of it. I’m so fucking miserable.

And if you were put of by me constantly mentioning periods, please grow up.

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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2 Responses to Misery Business…

  1. plastronneke says:

    I know I already mentioned it here, but I try it again. Have you ever tried Chinese Medicine? I really do think I can smoothen everything out. What you describe reminds me of (Heart) Blood Deficiency.
    Here is a nice article from a master (Maciocia) about Blood deficiency:
    http://www.giovanni-maciocia.com/downloads/EJOM_Blood_Deficiency.pdf
    This article is brief, but it gives a hint about what Blood Deficiency is. I hope you can understand the text without further knowledge about TCM.
    If you want a practitioner in your neighbourhood, you can always contact me, good Chinese Medicine therapists are hard to find.

  2. Chaz Morgan says:

    Hey! I am awake all night most nights. No periods! Just don’t sleep! So I’m on here looking for beads for my beard. My dogs and cat are all asleep, lucky buggers! I, am wide awake and plenty of work to do tomorrow. So I will be a touch manic. Send an email and we could compare notes?
    Kind regards, Chaz.

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