Paper Of DOOM: The Layout

I am bad at doing layout. Very bad. Just so you know. I have no clue how to do different page numbers for different text sections in Word, how to make a table of contents that isn’t wonky, or how to use headers. And don’t get me started on stylesheets and similar horrors, I am clueless about them and I hope I won’t ever have to change that.

Unfortunately, my Paper of Doom requires a good layout. Now, I asked StoicDad to help me, because he works with computers every day. I asked him last week. I asked him yesterday. And the day before. And I asked him today. Do you think he helped me? Nope. He even manages to make me feel like I’m nagging. I NEED to get that layout done, I can’t hand the paper in with crappy page numbering and faulty headers! However, I’m all on my own. If I flunk this they’ll make me feel like a total failure, but helping me to prevent that? Like Hell!

I tried internet tutorials, but my Word is set in Dutch while the tutorials are all in English, and I also have Word for Mac which is different from the usual versions of Word you can find tutorials for. Not to mention that because I am a clueless noob when it comes to formatting text, all those clever tips you find on help-forums don’t make sense to me anyway.

If I am to fail this paper AGAIN, not because I didn’t do enough research but because of faulty layout (in other words, because StoicDad couldn’t bring himself to do the formatting for me) I am going to kill someone! *frustrated*

On a more positive note, I am going to No.7 today for sex, pizza, a LOTR marathon, and Silmarillion reading sessions. If that can’t cheer me up, nothing can. And possibly one of his geeky computer-loving friends can be convinced to format my Paper of Doom for me, which would be awesome.

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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5 Responses to Paper Of DOOM: The Layout

  1. tteclod says:

    If you weren’t using mac, I could fix it for you. Since that impedes, here are the relevant instructions, without specifics, so you may attack the problem with a heuristic.

    1. Begin with a version of your paper lacking all formatting, such as font changes or paragraph formatting or tabs. Remove all section breaks, page breaks, et cetera. Keep a list of references for your paper at the end of the document. You need a blank slate.
    2. Using “Styles” (the English term, I’m afraid), establish the “normal” (default) style. This will define the basis for all your fonts and paragraphs tabs, etc. That style should be VERY simple.
    3. Next, establish the usual style for most text in your document. For my work, this is “Body Text.” Your own version may vary in Dutch. Keep in mind, you will mostly modify existing Word styles already established by the software.
    4. Make the entire document “Normal” style. From there, format various paragraphs and lines into “Body Text;” as appropriate. Set styles for other lines, like titles, headings, long quotes, and so on, as you go through the document. As long as you’re using “Styles” to set the formatting for any particular type of text, it is VERY EASY to modify the style, which then modifies all the text set to that style at once through the document.
    5. As you become satisfied with the general layout of your paper, begin creating section breaks between text paragraphs, or more precisely, at the end of the last paragraph of any particular section. There are four(?) types of section breaks, including “continuous” and “page break” (not to be confused with a “page break” without a section break).
    6. After inserting all the relevant section breaks, you should then begin adjusting the page numbering and the headers and footers.
    7. Last, if hyperlinked footnotes or end notes are required, do that work. Regrettably, those instructions are not easily explained in this medium.

    Remember! All the formatting in Word can be repaired if you totally ruin the formatting, so long as you keep a copy of the paper contents somewhere. If you’ve finished everything except the formatting, I recommend you save a separate copy as a pure ASCII text file. I know I’m paranoid like that.

    Good luck!

  2. Like said above, if you weren’t using Mac I could help 😦 Every time I open my Windows documents on my partner’s Mac it screws up everything…..

    Have fun with No. 7! Jealous of your LOTR marathon!

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