Who Cares If I Didn’t Do It?

So there is something going on in my family. I don’t know what it is, I just know that something is seriously wrong. I noticed it right when I came downstairs for dinner; every fork scraping a plate sounded like thunder, every movement was strained, and table conversation had been reduced to huffs, sighs and meaningful looks. It was the uneasy quiet before the storm.

I was pretty sure that I wasn’t the culprit, so I tried to act normally… well, as normally as possible in an atmosphere like that… but eventually, the Sense of Doom crept up on me anyway. What did I do? Did they discover something they shouldn’t have? Did I forget to do something? I’m quite used to being the go-to-scapegoat when things go wrong in my family (even when I have nothing to do with it whatsoever), so you can probably imagine what I was thinking.

StoicDad was being… passive-agressive. He is good at that; he makes you feel so uncomfortable that you just want to squirm, and he doesn’t even have to open his mouth for it. At the same time, DemonMom had entered the dangerous “highly explosive gasses just waiting for a spark” state, which means she was being a hysteric train wreck under a thin veneer of calm. Summary of the situation: tense doesn’t quite cover the load.

Now, my dad went for a drive (excuse: he had to pick something up) because he has been married to DemonMom for 22 years and didn’t want to be the one to produce the fatal spark… and I silently crept away, following the example of my clever siblings.

Currently I’m in my room, and I wonder whether it was my fault, and if I can expect the fallout of this thing tomorrow. You don’t have to ask whether I actually did something bad, in the logic of my family that is entirely inconsequential. If they are pissed for some reason, they usually find a way to make that reason me.

I’ll probably won’t be able to sleep, but that might just be because the Deadline for my still-very-unfinished year paper is steadily coming closer. I can only hope that I will get some brilliant idea over the night so I can write the whole bastard in one go tomorrow.

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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2 Responses to Who Cares If I Didn’t Do It?

  1. YAPCaB says:

    Just focus on the Royal Cat of Research Courage…

  2. tteclod says:

    I have discovered it useful to join my father on errands on occasions when I visit the homestead and things aren’t cozy. This provides two forms of cover from enemy fire: 1) you aren’t present and 2) you have an ally who was also not present, if absence can earn blame.

    That, and obtaining your father’s favor always works well. Learn his habits and be helpful. Save those markers for when you need a big favor or a “get out of jail free” opportunity.

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