#1. Does the leg full of bloody scratches I woke up with after a night of high fever count as self harm? I have no memory of scratching myself, but I obviously did.
#2. A person from my school has found my blog. I don’t know who it is, but paranoid old me is thinking all the worst things. I probably don’t have to explain. The worst is that I’m unsure as to how I was found out… (I can’t stop thinking, what if it’s my primary school bully? What if it’s my professor? What if it’s someone who for some reason really dislikes me? Also, I can now no longer write outright shit about people who annoy me, as most of those are year-mates, and even without names they might recognize themselves or their friends. Not that I so often write shit about people, but still, knowing I can’t do it anymore is a terrible loss of freedom.)
#3. My head hurts, my heart is beating too fast, and I’m so dizzy that I can’t walk down the stairs by myself. Stupid drug side effects…
#4. I’ll be home alone next week.
#5. I’m missing so many classes. I haven’t even bought all my course books! I hate being sick. I hate it. I don’t want to fail this year!
#6. I want a cold compress on my head. And my computer screen is too bright.
#7. Why are all good fanfiction stories abandoned?
#8. Facebook is a dark device of Morgoth! Why do people want to stay in touch with people from their childhood? Or people from places they moved away from? Hell, good riddance, I’d say! When I leave somewhere, I am always glad I don’t take my enemies with me. I rue the day that I made a Facebook page… (also, Facebook games are the Worst. Thing. Ever.)
#9. My head hurts so much. So very much. Urgh. URGGH!
#10. I wonder if I will one day have to remove this blog. I really hope not.
#11. Do people who leave me ominous, anonymous messages know that I’m schizophrenic and paranoid and bound to feel terribly unsafe after reading them? It’s like a very subtle form of passive aggressive harassment. If you’re not going to say who you are, don’t bother letting me know you read it, okay?
EDIT #12. Okay, I do appreciate it when people let me know that I’m accidentally posting my private stuff on my public persona Facebook page, whether they do it anonymously or not. So thank you for that, anonymous commenter who apparently knows me!