I’m leaving for Florence tomorrow, early morning. I bought new clothes and makeup, I got books from the library, I have my paperwork and everything in order, the flight and hotel have been arranged… and I’m terrified. I have wanted to travel all my life, and now I’m finally going to see a bit of the world, I can’t help but feel as if my impending voyage is a horrible doom hanging over my head. Why can’t I enjoy it as I thought I would?
I’m terrified. Honestly terrified. What if I don’t have all the papers I need? What if I don’t have everything I require? What if I forgot to pack something, what if my budget is too small to buy food for a week, what if my stuff gets lost or stolen, what if I get sick? What if I get lost? What if I have a breakdown and there is no one I trust nearby? This is so not me, I’m usually not this dramatic!
And then there is the thought of being among near-complete strangers for a whole week, with no internet access and no privacy, and the issue of me having to give a public presentation about early renaissance architecture in Florence… I should feel excitement at going on a trip and getting center stage for something I like (I actually like public speaking)… but I only feel dread and wish I could stay at home.
What am I to do?