The Hole You Left In My Soul

Immature love says, “I love you because I need you”. Mature love says, “I need you because I love you”. – Erich Fromm

Is it possible to be immature and mature at the same time?

I love you, because I need you. I need you to give direction to my life, I need you to give me a sense of self worth, I need you to feel. Without you everything is dull. They have blinded my eyes for your beauty and I let them, I thought it for the better. You gave me passion and fire. You gave me hopes and dreams. Thanks to you I experienced being respected for the first time in my life. You gave me the illusion of certainty that I needed to control and manipulate my environment. Without you I am lost. I need you. I love you because I need you, because there is not enough of me to fill the hole you left in my soul.

I need you, because I love you. I love you because you are the most astonishing, most beautiful thing I have ever encountered. I didn’t just see it, I could feel it and with my hands tied and my eyes closed and my ears deaf to the world I would still feel it. I still feel it, even now. Even after all this time. When I think about you I cry because simply realizing I have to live without you now hurts more than any beating, whipping, caning, cutting… ever could. To miss you and everything you are… There is no pain comparable to having you so close and yet not here with me.

With you, I could take on the world. Without you, I just let the world take me.

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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