Yesterday I received one of the worst insults in quite some time, and it came from my psychiatrist, of all people. We were talking, and then she casually asked if I pretended to be different from how I actually am when in her office. I said something like “no, not really”, and explained her that I discuss my problems with her, not the mundane and unimportant details of my daily life. Which I’d think is logical, because after all you pay a shrink to help with actual problems, not daily-life-lamenting.
Guess what she concluded. I had told her about my panic attacks, the sudden bouts of irrational fear that sometimes overcome me, my increasing overall irrationality and my sadism/masochism… She said she sometimes thinks I enlarge things because I want to appear more interesting to her. Basically she insulted me by insinuating I’m not a genuine person when I’m with her. She said that she had trouble believing everything I tell her because it’s so unlikely for someone my age, in her book. Right.
I knew it was a mistake to go to a youth-specialized psychiatrist. She completely misunderstood me; she thinks that I’m subconsciously afraid of my own murderous and sadistic tendencies, and that is causing my panic attacks. HELLO?! I’ve been having the attacks for a week. I’ve been a sadist for years. Correlation is where exactly?
I need a new psychiatrist.