So, I think I have taken an important step. But foremost, I thank you all for the sweet messages of support, I needed that more than you know.
I have gone to my university’s study counsellor and explained my situation. The state I sink away in sometimes, the disorientation, the purposeless procrastinating, the voices… And now she’s going to work out a study plan to give me a weekly goal to reach, so that I constantly have a sense of purpose. It seems stupid and ridiculous, even to me, but I have the feeling this might actually work. So, an important step.
I’m also trying to force myself to go out more, to meet up with people, to be social… When I am like this I have the tendency to hide myself in my room and try to sleep through it. Which of course doesn’t work and only angers my family.
I’m just… obliged to go on. I still hope that one day my obligation will become a pleasure.
We're All Mad Inhere 
A study plan is a great idea! I’m glad the person you spoke with was understanding and I’m ever more glad you went and told someone!!! Hugs!!!
Thanks for the support 🙂
She was very nice; she had no experience with schizophrenia but when I explained her what exactly I experienced and how it influenced my work she was very comprehending and immediately offered to help. I felt ridiculous for telling (still do) but I think it will help.
great post Ms. QP! And I am glad you are moving forward. 🙂
It will! It creates an endorphin rush to go out in the world, to take risks on new people and ultimately to be rewarded with new friendships and social support. Your transcript only lists your grades; make your college experience mean so much more. These are the best years of your life!
You are on the right road.