I have gone to my university’s study counsellor and explained my situation. The state I sink away in sometimes, the disorientation, the purposeless procrastinating, the voices… And now she’s going to work out a study plan to give me a weekly goal to reach, so that I constantly have a sense of purpose. It seems stupid and ridiculous, even to me, but I have the feeling this might actually work. So, an important step.
I’m also trying to force myself to go out more, to meet up with people, to be social… When I am like this I have the tendency to hide myself in my room and try to sleep through it. Which of course doesn’t work and only angers my family.
I’m just… obliged to go on. I still hope that one day my obligation will become a pleasure.