Dealing With Whiners: An Introductory Course

This text is by no means meant to be insulting towards anyone. It is just me, QP, sharing some opinions and tips on whiny people online, and how I believe one can deal with them. It’s also a message of contempt at the address of cyber bullies and other immature beings of the troll variety.

Lately I’ve been reading about cyber bullying. It annoys me greatly. The reason why people are cyber-bullied differs from real life. It’s not about their looks or direct behavior  anymore, but about their writings. It can happen to anyone, but there is a common factor. They all WHINE.

Let me clarify myself. If you were a sad teenager, lots of hormones in your blood, feeling unaccepted by your peers, society and/or your parents, and with no talent for relativizing things, what would you write about on your blog, webpage or profile? About your terrible, emotionally straining and overly dramatic daily life, of course! And that’s just one example. In that way, the “whiners” are not to be blamed. They just use the internet as an outlet for their drama. Not illegal, and definitely understandable.

Now, people can plead for the “let’s all be virtual friends” policy, overall politeness and stuff, but I know from my own experience that it doesn’t work. I’m easily annoyed, and whiny people are high up on my list of things that annoy me. I don’t think I’m the only one… When I read some common cyber-bully comments, like “Go kill yourself, stupid Emo”, or “No one cares anyway, you’re fugly so you deserve it” (these are real taken-from-life comments, go figure) I feel anger though. I understand annoyance at whiners, but this is not the way to deal with them.

Whiny people may be annoying, but they are PEOPLE. They deserve respect as much as anyone else does. And no matter whether it’s a hormonal teenager, a distressed middle aged woman, a hypochondriac adolescent, or any other specimen of the homo whininus kind, you will encounter them throughout your whole life. Maybe you’ll find yourself among their ranks one day yourself. Think before you write hurtful stuff. You might get away with that when you’re 12, but if you’re later confronted with a whiny colleague at your place of work and you haven’t learned any coping strategy except for being insulting by then… then you’re in trouble.

  1. Don’t insult, confront. There is nothing wrong with talking about your problems online or in real life, but it becomes whiny when you stop being rational and enlarge the problem to Middle-East-Conflict size. Try to point out the actual proportions of the problem to the whiner, without being demeaning.
  2. Problem Solving. Some problems have easy solutions. For others the solutions are difficult to find, or in the worst case inexistent. A whiner believes no solution exists for the problem, or is so absorbed in it he/she has no motivation to look for a solution. Help looking for solutions, and try to give hints in which direction to look for them without playing the part of the know-it-all prick. 
  3. Don’t Pity, Encourage! The main reason whiners are whiny, is because they are looking for kind words and reassurance. Only human, right? Feeling sorry for them and expressing how much you feel for them won’t help them though. Express how much faith you have in them, and that you believe they’ll make it through. Be encouraging and focus on the future solution rather than the present problem.

These are my tips. Even with them I often crush people’s hearts and toes, that’s just how I am. Rude and direct and all that. But I respect even the people I am annoyed by, and because I’m somewhat a drama queen myself I know how easily anyone can go into whininess when feeling bad. I feel nothing but contempt for cyber bullies. When you lose perspective of your annoyance in insulting comments, you’re worse than the whiner you’re criticizing.

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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