Everything feels empty. I thought I would feel good after completing my Glorious Purpose, but it seems I do better when burdened with purpose than without. I completed all my exams, I’m not sure but I hope to have passed at least two of the five. I’m so tired. Yesterday I did nothing but sleep, and today I’m forcing myself to stay awake because Demon Mom would kill me if she caught me sleeping during the day, but it only results in ridiculous crying fits. I think something is wrong with me.
I hate to annoy you, my dear followers, with my drama. Yet I need an outlet, and since I have no one to talk to (I have had enough talk with Demon Mom today for the rest of the month and No.7 is only going to get ridiculously worried) I vent it here.
I’m not getting suicidal or anything like that. Not that I have so much to live for, but I wouldn’t want to live through another failed attempt, the last one already ruined my life sufficiently and with how much karma hates me it wouldn’t surprise me if it happened again should I try. Ironic, isn’t it? Fear of failure, even in suicide. I’m ridiculous.
The words of Demon Mom creep under my skin and make me feel even worse. It shouldn’t, but it still does. They’re blunt honesty packed in despise, and it’s hard to filter what is what. During the exams she left me to my own devices, and now she’s getting evil fast again.
I’m tired. I can only wish for something to happen that will give me a new Glorious Purpose, I’m no good to myself when my thoughts are left to wander.
Love and apologies for being the emo kid we all hate, QP