Too Lengthy And Not Glorious At All

You read the title. That’s my verdict so far on battle with a Glorious Purpose. I haven’t slept for two days now. That’s 48 hours of no sleep at all, more or less. And the worst part is… I haven’t done shit. I should at least survive half of the exams before I break down in psychotic misery, so my prospects aren’t looking too good. I just have to survive until January 25th… After that I can break down and cry to my heart’s -and sick mind’s- delight. But it’s too long… I’m so fucking tired and I can’t sleep. I can’t even hold a pen because I’m trembling too badly.

I wish Conviction could be injected like the antipsychotics I fear I’m gonna need after this. If I didn’t think karma hates me (and karma hates me, trust me. If it didn’t I would be dead by now) I would be more of a coward. But… well, circumstances really leave me no choice than to go on even though I’m breaking myself down every day a little more. If anyone still doubted it: I really am BURDENED. I just have no other choice.

Two of my opponents have been battled already. Three more to go. Please tell me what I have to do because… well, I sort of start to feel the effects of sleep deprivation, stress and irrational panic on my system and it doesn’t feel good. Rational thinking capacity is starting to deteriorate a bit…

PS: I read C.S Lewis’ “The Weight of Glory” because the title seemed suitable. It was interesting, but no good food for my already confused mind…

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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5 Responses to Too Lengthy And Not Glorious At All

  1. ubu507 says:

    Just hold on…the sun comes up…

  2. tteclod says:

    I had one of those days Thursday. Friday I shot several rounds with my SIG Sauer SHR at the rifle range, followed by three hours anime, and some yardwork. It made me feel a lot better. Saturday, I awoke to my panicked daughter’s hopeless despair that she was late to cram school and wouldn’t be admitted on account of tardiness. After she ate an egg sandwich, banana, and steamer, her world looked substantially better, and nobody at cram school cared that she was late. Do not despair. Things often appear dark right before the light breaks through to your heart.

  3. YAPCaB says:

    You can do it and you know it, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking for encouragement. Give ’em hell!

  4. You are awesome, you can do what ever you want. It just takes a little longer for some of us.. Keep on walking

  5. i wrote a study tips handout for youth ages 14-16 and one of the things I mentioned on there is SLEEP and HAVE FUN! Your mind and body are able to hold more information when it is relaxed and in decent working condition 🙂

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