I will never be able to escape. Wherever I go, I carry it with me, weakness when I look in the mirror, lack of character in everything I do. Oh it’s all so easy, easy-peasy, isn’t it? Always picking the easy way, pathetic, pathological Love Of Ease. Weak, weak, weak. I will never be able to escape.
I want to run away, grab a few things and take a train to god knows where, just leave everything behind and start over somewhere else. I want to erase everyone from my life, everyone who knows my weakness. Scratch myself out of their existence so they can never remind me of it. Weak, weak, weak. So disgusting. I can never erase myself, my mirror image will always be there to remind me of the truth.
I lie, all the time, because it’s all I’m fucking good for. It’s all I’m good at. Weak, weak, weak. Disgusting me to the very centre of myself. I want to escape myself, I want to escape the lack of character. I hate it. I HATE IT. I’m so absolutely disgusting, weak, weak, weak.