Sex, Transvestites and Sleeping Pills… My Weekend So Far

I’m back again…

I am very much aware of the fact that my schizophrenia is acting up again… I only have to read the last post before this one to see that. It is slightly -who am I kidding, it’s very- creepy, the way my lucidity slips away, slowly yet steadily. There are still some things that work though in slowing it down…

Saturday morning I took the train to Experiment No. 7 ‘s house. I’m sort of surprised that I managed to make it there… He was shocked when he saw me, and that should tell you something. Anyway, he got me inside, undressed me, washed me in the bath and then gave me a cup of tea. Mysteriously enough I was out cold in a matter of minutes after it. Later he admitted to have spiked the tea with a large dose of Ambien, but hey, it was for the greater good and I don’t hold it against him.

I woke up a highly surprising 5 and a half hours later, feeling… well, still wrecked but lucid for a change, with No. 7 next to me like a guard dog. He helped me up, brushed my hair, fed me a platter of soup, and put me back in bed after finishing it. I think it was the first moment in days I felt actually safe… I slept some more, much to my surprise, and No. 7 woke me around 6 in the evening. The actual reason why I had gone to his house in the first place was because he had made a reservation for this absolutely hilarious transvestite show in Antwerp, and insomniac/delusional or not I didn’t want to miss it. Well, it was worth it. Really. Great food, I laughed my ass off, and I felt a whole lot better afterwards. Laughing releases endorphins, no?

Of course, there are other things that release endorphins too; at home my dear Experiment had another surprise for me… A glass dildo. He spanked me first, diaper position (that was an idea from Robin he liked a lot), and then while I was dripping wet he inserted that cold glass dildo. Now it wasn’t that big, but it sure was effective. It was a great experience… I always lose sense of time and place when having sex, and No. 7 knows  that. He likes to taunt me a bit by asking what time it is in the middle of the deed, spanking me when I can’t answer. Now I was already balancing on the edge after the spanking and dildo-play, and then he just fucked me roughly until I was unconscious. All I recall is screaming loudly and then everything just blurred into a pleasant black.

The next morning/midday I woke I felt so much better… I’m not sure it will hold long, but for now it works for me. His parents (lovely people) are worried though and they tell me I should seek a new therapist, perhaps opt for a new short term admission before I get acutely psychotic again… What should I do? Help from my parents is not something I should hope for…

So… I hereby somewhat apologize to the people I might have offended with previous post. I may have been “myself”, but I sure wasn’t thinking straight.

Love and Chaos, QP

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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6 Responses to Sex, Transvestites and Sleeping Pills… My Weekend So Far

  1. waywardweed says:

    Glad to read you sounding more like your eccentric, wacky self. Re what you wrote last time, I think you may want to reconsider mental illness, whatever the type, as weakness. You wouldn’t call someone with cancer weak, would you? Those fighting the demons of MI need encouragement. If they seem weak at times, it is their illness. Blame the illness, not the individual. My opinion.

    • I know, but it’s very hard to deal with. I have been brought up with the notion of character and strength, discipline over everything. “There is no can’t, only don’t want to” and “I can’t the lazy one said and that’s why he couldn’t” are phrases I heard at least twice a day in my youth.
      Weakness is not something I can accept, even though I rationally know I shouldn’t think of it like that…

  2. tteclod says:

    Marry the guy and let him check you into and out of the nut-house as required. Major trust moment, but totally worth it if it works.

  3. I don’t know anything about glass dildos but drag is the modern panacea for all ills. I suggest everyone go see a show,
    Portia xx

  4. Brenda Leibfried says:

    Sleeping pills should be taken before taking direction of a physician as taking it without prescription may produce side effects. Sleeping tablets should not be taken as overdose since access dose of the medication may be harmful to you. While taking any recreational treatment sleeping drug should be avoided. If you are suffering from any type of heart disease or from any general illness then avoid the intake of the medication. Avoid the intake of alcohol during the medication since it may increase effects of alcohol. Beside form this medication is effective if all instructions are followed by the user. In addition to get positive results users should not avoid any of these instructions.,

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