A Letter to a Therapist… Things I would like to tell mine.

Dear Therapist,

Lately it has come to my ears that you broke your oath of secrecy, or at least that you stretched it beyond it’s natural flexibility. I am not a moralistic person, and it is not my wish to reproach you; I know I am hardly in the position to do so. Yet, there is something I would like to discuss with you, and that could be filed as “moralistic” in a certain sense.

I would like to talk to you about honesty.

Every human being has its limits. I have mine, you have yours, they are individual and personal and not for me or anyone else to judge. Something that leaves me untouched might shock you dearly, and vice versa. It’s simply another one of those many things that make us all unique.  That’s why I do not wish to speak about the reason why you broke/stretched your oath. That reason is yours to have and yours to keep.

A fact is, I have always been clear about my limits to you. I told you about the things that shocked me, the things I loved, hated, desired and feared. I gave you a peak into my psyche. Why? Because I trusted you, dear Therapist.

I came into contact with you in a context that I will call “contractual”. After all, I paid you for your services, which included listening to me and analysing the bits and pieces of myself I scattered on your mental plate. A part of this contract was that oath, that pledge of secrecy. Nothing I told you would be heard by thirds. Now I don’t easily trust people, dear therapist. Actually it’s so that my only way of trusting people is in contractual context. Giving, taking, paying, leaving… That sort of thing. I trusted you because I believed there was a solid, legal base by which you were obliged to be trustworthy.

There was one thing I forgot though. You are human, you have your limits. I don’t blame you for… well, for being a snitch, to say it bluntly. Something I said hit your limits and forced you to take what was supposed to stay secret out in the open. That’s human.

The thing I blame you for is your lack of honesty. You knew my limits, yet I did not know yours. I could have avoided the situation if only you had been honest with me about your principles, morals and ideas of life. I am a respectable person; I would not willingly have tried to shock you, knowing your limits. What happened completely comes down to you, and your inability to be completely honest with someone.

I understand that the idea of talk therapy is to have a listening ear. Someone you can consider merely a function, a place to vent, than a person. I believed in that, dear therapist. I believed you could be that function to me. That was, after all, the contract we had, the agreement on which base we had our weekly meetings.

But you failed me, and you failed your function. The contract didn’t specify your human limits, so if you thought I might hit them and bring the both of us in an awkward situation, you should have told me so. In advance, that is. Better safe than sorry, no?

I suppose that went through your head as well, when you decided to spill out what I had told you… didn’t it?

If there’s anything I learned from you, dear Therapist, it’s once again that people fundamentally can’t be trusted. All your efforts to make me believe in humanity have been cancelled out by your actions; if even a legal agreement can’t be trusted anymore, nothing can.  So I don’t blame you for your eventual actions… I blame you for your fundamental dishonesty, and how it has aggravated my condition.

Yours no longer faithfully,

Your Psychopath Patient

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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8 Responses to A Letter to a Therapist… Things I would like to tell mine.

  1. Show this to her and ask her to explain her actions.

  2. Yes she needs to be confronted or else she will continue with others

  3. Don’t use big word’s as she will realise that you are smarter than her.
    Then change your shrink and ask them about confidentiality before taking them on…

    • That is the thing in which she just completely lied to me; I asked her about confidentiality first, I asked if she was allowed under any circumstance to tell anyone anything I had told her, and she denied that. She said that whatever I wanted to tell her would not leave the room.
      It’s that, that really broke my confidence…

  4. themisadventuresofmissmisfit says:

    Well, stupid me. I should have read this post first rather than being all excited to see what I’ve missed from my fellow psychopath. Your therapist, I will refer to him/her as ‘IT’. Okay. It acted that way because it was scared. It knew you well enough from the previous sessions you had. It knew how serious you were because, as you said, you gave her a “peek into your psyche”. It knew that it was it’s moral obligation to report or alert people involved or authorities if it feels that safety will be compromised. Regardless of who’s safety. Well, unfortunately. It stereotyped you into a classification from long long ago. It thought that you would act upon the urges you have. It, like all the other therapists, will do the same. Believe me on this one, I studied this subject for years. They are one and the same. It, they, never view their patients individually. They, or It rather, classifies your symptoms and go by the book. It/they will never go out of their habit of being book abiding therapists for their patients. In my opinion if therapists genuinely want to help patients, they should know and think the same way or at least experienced what their patients are going through.

    • Crazies make the best therapists…
      I felt in a way insulted by her assumptions. It was clear from what I told her that my urges are controllable since I have enough rationality not to act upon them before I can get away with it.
      But yes, the therapist was scared, very scared even. Last week I confronted her, and my stoicalness almost brought her to tears (I found a sadist joy in that)… She cursed at me, saying she had a family to protect and that if I committed a crime her license would be withdrawn and she would no longer be able to support her family and so on… She was trembling and when we shook hands I felt they were all sweaty…
      It was interesting. As I said in another message, I understand her actions, she is only human. But that doesn’t take away my dismay concerning them…

      • themisadventuresofmissmisfit says:

        Funny, she was so scared she lost composure over her emotions. She even explained to you details you weren’t interested in. She shouldn’t have been a psychiatrist, very weak and poor reasoning skills. A 5 year old could have made a better excuse. Her answer was the most over used excuse. Well, sometimes the truth is overly disappointing. At least you have a new subject to study, your new psychiatrist that is. 🙂 Good luck with her.

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