Something I hear quite often is this: I am a course-mouthed woman. And yes… even though the meaning of “coarse”, “rude” and “tactless” is subject of debate to me, I can’t deny my tongue is often faster than my intellect. Especially my impudent sexual vocabulary seems to cause raised eyebrows. When I mean “to fuck”, I SAY “to fuck”, that’s that. In… well, kind of every context.
Since I am on the brink of starting a new life, I am motivated to do something about my presumably nasty habit of saying what it is when it comes to sex. Therefor I have put some of my otherwise useless time into the development of a list of possible alternatives for “to fuck”, in categories. Yes, I have to much time.
Engaging in coitus
Knowing each other
Deflowering (only use if it concerns a virgin)
Going all the way
Making the beast with two backs
Cleaning the pipes
Climing Mount Pork-o-lay-la
Hiding the salami
Administering a hot beef injection
Beating the pussy up
Shattering the meat tunnel
Doing the In-Out In-Out
ACTIONS INVOLVING TOOLS
ACTIONS INVOLVING VIOLENCE
This list is way too short to give a place to all alternatives… (All additions are welcome!) But in my opinion this proves one thing: “To fuck” ain’t the worst of them all! I rather fuck than have my Vagistan surrendered to an alien oppressor… What do you think?