Something I hear quite often is this: I am a course-mouthed woman. And yes… even though the meaning of “coarse”, “rude” and “tactless” is subject of debate to me, I can’t deny my tongue is often faster than my intellect. Especially my impudent sexual vocabulary seems to cause raised eyebrows. When I mean “to fuck”, I SAY “to fuck”, that’s that. In… well, kind of every context.
Since I am on the brink of starting a new life, I am motivated to do something about my presumably nasty habit of saying what it is when it comes to sex. Therefor I have put some of my otherwise useless time into the development of a list of possible alternatives for “to fuck”, in categories. Yes, I have to much time.
TECHNICAL
Engaging in coitus
Fornicating
Penetrating
Copulating
Having intercourse
Mating
RELIGIOUS
Knowing each other
Consummating
Communing
Deflowering (only use if it concerns a virgin)
CORNY
Making love
Sleeping together
VAGUE
Having relations
Doing it
Getting busy
Going all the way
Laying/Getting laid
ONOMATOPOEIC/SOUND-FUL
Makin’ Whoopee
Gettin’ Nookie
Bow-chicka-bow-wow
ILLUSTRATIVE
Making the beast with two backs
Cleaning the pipes
Knockin’ boots
Climing Mount Pork-o-lay-la
Hiding the salami
Laying cable
Administering a hot beef injection
Occupying Vagistan
Log jamming
Beating the pussy up
Shattering the meat tunnel
Bumping uglies
Making babies
Doing the In-Out In-Out
ACTIONS INVOLVING TOOLS
Plugging
Screwing
Drilling
Nailing
Plowing
ACTIONS INVOLVING VIOLENCE
Banging
Hitting
Ramming
Slamming
ACTIONS (GENERAL)
Sticking
Balling
Shafting
Porking
Railing
Pounding
This list is way too short to give a place to all alternatives… (All additions are welcome!) But in my opinion this proves one thing: “To fuck” ain’t the worst of them all! I rather fuck than have my Vagistan surrendered to an alien oppressor… What do you think?
Love, QP
Fuck is such a diverse word! It’s one of my favourites! I can’t take “making love” seriously. My partner said it too me once and I just laughed at him. Sex is either sex or fucking.
Agree! It’s totally multifunctional, it can express practically everything; like, dislike, surprise, disappointment, excitement, bore,… EVERYTHING!
Fucking is kind of neutral. It’s short and says what it means, without sounding like a technical manual, and meanwhile it’s not corny or obviously disrespectful. I don’t understand what people have against the word!
I work with kids and this one boy told his mother that some of his friends (who are in gr. 3) are saying they want to have sex with girls in their class (having no clue what they’re talking about). Mom asked him “do you know what sex is?” And he replies “Yeah, it’s the f-word.” 😛 True story!
*sigh*
children… They hear a lot and they know little…
“bopping” is big where I come from
Hahahaha love this!!!
thanks! xD
I can’t think of any news ones to add to the list, but I do like Hiding the Salami 🙂
*giggle*
Hope you never tell that to your girlfriend xD
Ha, well I like to think she enjoys the game… 🙂
xD
There’s also Hit A Home Run, Dippity Doo Daa, The Lust and Thrust, The Four Legged Foxtrot, Knocking Boots, Hokey-Pokey, Hanky-Panky, Humping, Diddling, Harpooning the Squid, Happy Sheets and my new personal favorite, Rock the Casbah. 😀
awesome! Thank you very much!
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