This is the story of a girl, a girl I know very well.
Her heart was cold, her blood was frozen, her gaze pointed downwards. She had felt, but it seemed like a million years ago. Once, a touch had been really touching; a look could burn her and a simple smile could power all the lights in her world. Now it felt as if someone had pulled the plug. She was alive but disconnected, doomed to live half alive, dangling between two options. A dead soul in a living body. A thin layer of ice seemed to cover her skin, keeping her from feeling anything.
Not knowing where to go, she found herself in a static state, a moratorium of indecision.
Time passed unnoticed, and the concept itself became unimportant. When every day is the same as the previous one, why bother keeping track of them?
It was then she met him.
They spoke, at first they only spoke. But words can be ambiguous, and ambiguous they were. He made her laugh, every day again. He spelled out nonsense and made it sound reasonable. In his laugh a tear was hidden and in his seriousness a smile. Everything he did… from the music he played for her to the drawings he asked her to make… was like fuel for a dying flame. The girl’s cold heart started warming, day by day a bit more, until her frozen blood started melting, and her icy hands became able to touch again, to make a contact. How wondrous it was, to feel again!
But nothing lasts forever, not even the waiting. Eventually Doom always finds her victims. Suddenly not all days were the same anymore. Every day was a gift, every second a miracle. And of all things precious, there is very little. Cruel is Time, when it runs out… Fate pulled it apart, even before it could start.
A heart that has been frozen for so long is vulnerable; it needs care. Her heart was beating, her blood flowed, but every beat hurt like a knife stabbing. A thousand tears carried the melting water of her heart, as she sat in the windowpane and stared at the garden where they had been together.
So many “could have’s” and so many “what if’s”…
Now she feels, she feels again. But she feels but sadness, missing him…