My dreams

I tell you honestly; this is not something I do often. But I have been having the strangest dreams lately, and I couldn’t help myself but draw them out. Since I don’t understand them, here they are. Let’s play Freudian, right?

The Talking MirrorThe Infinite SongThe Tree of Eyes

I dream of walking over a chessboard, black and white. It is night, the sky is strangely blue. The huge moon shines yellow on me, like a lamp. I hear whispering, like talking in the distance. I walk towards it. In front of me floats an oval mirror. It isn’t a mirror because I can’t see myself but I still feel it is actually a mirror. A Talking Mirror. One side is bright red, the other side is bright blue. The whisperings are coming from that mirror. I try to understand it, but I can’t. They whisper contradictions, one side means this, the other side means the opposite. They are right nor wrong, and both at the same time. Suddenly, the ground trembles. A purple tree sprouts from the ground, and at first I think it has leaves, but actually those are eyes. The eyes stare at me, they speak to me. “Listen to us! Listen to us! You have to listen to us! Follow our directions! Obey us!” There is blood, dripping from the sky. I start running rom the Tree of Eyes, and I end up in this forest, with pink trees, like apple trees. Only the apples aren’t fruit, they are big bloodshot eyeballs. The chessboard floor becomes a piano, a stairs. I climb it, and while climbing I hear the tunes of Erik Satie’s Gnossienne no. 1, like a sign of approaching doom. The piano stairs curls around a chain, a giant pocket watch from which blood is coming.   I hear it tick, it’s ticking to the rhythm of the song I play by walking the piano stairs. Then, I don’t know what happens. Suddenly I’m tied by both my hands on a branch of the Tree of Eyes. Around me, all these clocks hang, golden pocket watches. Blood drips from them, forms a pool on the ground, a sea even. The chessboard is covered. The Tree of Eyes sounds complaining, the Gnossienne resounds deformed on the background. The blood is rising, I can almost feel it touch my feet. I cry, I can’t help but cry, my hands hurt, my head hurts, I can’t escape. I’m doomed.

 

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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18 Responses to My dreams

  1. Servant says:

    Daniel 2:26-28 NLT

    The king said to Daniel (also known as Belteshazzar), “Is this true? Can you tell me what my dream was and what it means?”

    Daniel replied, “There are no wise men, enchanters, magicians, or fortune-tellers who can reveal the king’s secret. But there is a God in heaven who reveals secrets, and he has shown King Nebuchadnezzar what will happen in the future. Now I will tell you your dream and the visions you saw as you lay on your bed.

    …for kings & queens & plain people like you and me, the same applies that Daniel told the king.

    Would you seek the answer from Daniel’s God, or is it a less urgent scenario than the king had?

  2. tinyfrogs says:

    Through the looking glass theme aside (is that significant personal symbolism/role for you?) These are the things that I see:

    Blue sky/moon like lamp: like being in a movie (they used to put blue filters on a daylight shot to make it into a nighttime one), acting/being someone else, detachment/dissociation.

    Binary theme: black/white two sides/colors mirror, opposing/contradictory meanings in voices.

    Chessboard: feels like game but serious, what piece are you?

    Purple tree: intruder, observer, attempting to direct/control you, sudden unsettling intrusion.

    Piano/song, watches: rhythm of life (feels like doom, inevitability, trapped in role), time is running.

    Blood from the sky: internal landscape, damage/wounded.

    Blood from watches: life running out

    That’s my $0.20

  3. Servant says:

    The eyes reminded me of…

    And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!” – Revelation 4:8

    Other “full of eyes” references:

    Ezekiel 1:18 Their rims were high and awesome, and all four rims were full of eyes all around.
    Ezekiel 10:12 Their entire bodies, including their backs, their hands and their wings, were completely full of eyes, as were their four wheels.
    Revelation 4:6 Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal. In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back.

  4. Servant says:

    …also just occurred to me that being hung in/on a tree is not good imagery at all – the phrase ‘accursed by God’ comes to mind. Can’t remember the reference. FYI.

    Remember how Jesus had to basically endure hell (kind of) – yes, he was on a tree – or so it is often stated by those that study somewhat deeper than skin-deep symbology. I think the Bible even attests to the link i.e. cross & tree.

    • Okay… So there are kind of a lot of biblical references in my dreams…
      Especially the part about the eyes is creepy…
      Your knowledge of the bible is truly impressive, just saying. I was totally dumbstruck by all the quotes… 😉
      But tell me… what should I conclude from this?

      • Servant says:

        “Okay… So there are kind of a lot of biblical references in my dreams…”

        Had a hectic two weeks or so. You can probably tell by the lack of new posts on my blog. I will post the interpretation when I get a chance. As I mentioned, I cannot interpret your dreams, but dreams is a clear & distinctive method of communication to many people in the Bible & it was even mentioned that it would continue after the “biblical period”.

        Things, in general, surely seem less clear today than they used to be. You’ll get 10 “expert opinions” on any topic or question & more as long as you’re willing to look.

        To the extent that my interpretation is guided by God, you can trust it. If I get any clue that my interpretation is to be stated to you as authentic I will tell you, but if not, I can comment in terms of biblical truths & parallels.

        What I can say is that I hope this is a message from God to you – it seems like that to me. That would mean He’s trying to direct your path – and that He cares … but that has become a “cheap” message & cliché these days. The religious crutch for the weak-minded – so-called. Well, if you listen to the minds at work that I’ve encountered in my studies – that is just absurd.

        Anyhow, blessings to you – and I pray that you would find your way … I don’t know if you would argue that you have found it, but as I see it, you start & progress in peace & joy when you are on “the way”. Reminds me of Pilgrim’s Progress. …anyway – that’s something for a different time maybe (the dramatic audiobook is nice, by the way).

  5. Pingback: quanumphysica’s dreams « Society Stacktrace

  6. Servant says:

    See potential interpretation here: http://societystacktrace.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/quanumphysicas-dreams
    Let me know if any of it rings true.
    Regards.

    • Thank you very much for this…
      It has opened my eyes to potential meanings of this recurring dream…
      There is the good/evil, red/blue,… contradiction, the continuous demand for choice, a choice I cannot seem to make.
      The tree of eyes is indeed, as you pointed out, not (really) evil, yet it also demands choice. As you know, I hesitate to call it God, I would rather call it “principles”, a moral ground. Something else I lack.
      I try to run from principles, because they mean choice and obligation, and I am confused and unwilling to take a stand. But there are some I am tied to, some I will always be obliged to return to. And time is running out…

      • Servant says:

        I somehow felt called to respond to this (hence the late reply), so I’m relieved that it’s now on the “done” list – especially since I get hardly any spare time to do this kind of thing in. Got in a bit of trouble for not doing enough house-work & family stuff due to the time spent on this, but I pray that it contributed / contributes positively in a tiny manner to your journey somewhat.

        Regards.

  7. Servant says:

    …so did this post change your view of me & what I think & say?
    http://societystacktrace.wordpress.com/2012/04/14/silence-yes-miss-universe-can-be-a-man-and-its-supposed-to-be-normal-18min
    Maybe I could have toned the post down a bit if it seemed inflamitory (would have to check if so – and may update it slightly), but we likely have an equal & opposite emotional reaction on this kind of topic.
    In terms of the basic message, though, I don’t believe that LGBT is what God intended for people – BUT, then you’d have to start with “God” to be able to conclude what He intended, did or didn’t do. …so I guess there is some foundational mismatch there.

    I’ve been in scenarios where the biblical truth & rule was very uncomfortable difficult to stand by. Having a gay sibling (or being gay myself, for argument’s sake) would very likely have been like that for me also. The Gospel is a radical message, however, and demands radical adherence… even though the “seeker friendly gospel” has taken the sting out for newcomers to the faith. It cannot work, however. The old sinful self must die, so that the new (born again) person can live. No kind of change is impossible if your personal transformation is that deep. I have heard of ex-gays – as painful as that must have been for them to go through. I have not heard of ex-blacks.

    Regards.

  8. Servant says:

    A comment on my comment… “Maybe I could have toned the post down a bit if it seemed inflamitory (would have to check if so – and may update it slightly)”

    I checked. My wording there seems appropriate.

  9. Pingback: the incredulous hulk award! « Society Stacktrace

  10. H.H. says:

    Just found your blog – I find it interesting. Feel free to check out ours: mysexlifewithlola.com

    HH

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