So… I am here again, writing. My psychotic nature has kept me from that for quite some time, and I am the first to admit that even now I’m rather confused. It feels like my head is full of dust, or clutter, I don’t know, there’s something in it that keeps me from thinking straight, almost like a physical barrier. I wanted to write a list about the things I like here… I like quite a lot of things here. The people are, however troubled, actually genuinely nice. I have made some good friends here. It’s strange, how sharing shit ties people closer… Yet I can’t seem to get my thoughts together enough to write out the list…

I would have to cut myself just to clear my head. I am so trying to keep myself from thinking about cutting… I try to keep myself from it, really. I am so confused… I just can’t think. I hear stuff. It’s scary how I can actually tell that I hear things that quite obviously aren’t there. Sometimes I get so fucking derealized that I even start doubting they aren’t there. My thoughts… They don’t seem to form themselves into the shape of words, or even images. It’s all the time like snow on an old television, white noise. Fuck. I have to sleep. I can’t sleep. Damn. Damn. Damn.

Utter Confusion

My head won't shut the fuck up today...

About quantumphysica

My name is QuantumPhysica The Insane, but you can call me QP. I am insane, admitted to a mental hospital in Belgium, and waiting for a decent diagnosis at the moment. Once I was a physics student with goals in life and what more; now I'm simply the patient of Room 93. Ever wondered what life is like in the psychiatric ward? I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know... I am... particularly twitchy of personality. But I also am genuinely interested in everything. There is nothing that doesn't interest me, really. Everything, from quantum computers to fashion and cars to traveling... I also give advice. On anything. No taboos whatsoever. And I make lists of things...
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7 Responses to Confusion@TheMadhouse

  1. lookingforapurpose says:

    First off, i love the pic. Its a very good interpretation of what you were talking about. Is that you with your shirt off? Its kinda sexy looking too. *blush*

    I understand what you mean about the static and barrier. I have the same problem when i think about listing things or trying to explain things to anyone. I don’t know why i wish i did. But you are not alone on that or the sleeping part. lol

  2. I can definitely relate to the fuzzy head, self-harm, and hospital. It’s so good that you are getting help. I really hope it does help, and that you can safe from the harm in the meantime. Your crafts are amazing. Hopefully those can clear your head in a healthy way. Hang in there QP.

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