Confusion@TheMadhouse

So… I am here again, writing. My psychotic nature has kept me from that for quite some time, and I am the first to admit that even now I’m rather confused. It feels like my head is full of dust, or clutter, I don’t know, there’s something in it that keeps me from thinking straight, almost like a physical barrier. I wanted to write a list about the things I like here… I like quite a lot of things here. The people are, however troubled, actually genuinely nice. I have made some good friends here. It’s strange, how sharing shit ties people closer… Yet I can’t seem to get my thoughts together enough to write out the list…

I would have to cut myself just to clear my head. I am so trying to keep myself from thinking about cutting… I try to keep myself from it, really. I am so confused… I just can’t think. I hear stuff. It’s scary how I can actually tell that I hear things that quite obviously aren’t there. Sometimes I get so fucking derealized that I even start doubting they aren’t there. My thoughts… They don’t seem to form themselves into the shape of words, or even images. It’s all the time like snow on an old television, white noise. Fuck. I have to sleep. I can’t sleep. Damn. Damn. Damn.

My head won't shut the fuck up today...